You know that feeling you have when you first wake up? That state of limbo between the dream world and the real one? Everything seems surreal, like you know you’re awake, but you can still see the dream. That’s where I found myself this morning with three ideas floating around in my mind, like words written in a book, but also spoken and heard… I couldn’t see them but I knew they were there. These thoughts in my mind as if written on my soul battling with each other in a whirlwind of confusion. It was like a loop, with one leading to the other, and the other leading to third, and the third circling back to the first in a seemingly never ending cycle that I couldn’t stop.

These three ideas, I believe, are remnants of phrases that I’ve heard people say over and over throughout my life. Phrases that I’ve told other people myself and phrases that people often tell me. All mixed in with a bit of scripture to help complicate and connect the ideas back to each other in a way that just doesn’t make any sense at all. It felt like it was by design. Like something outside of myself, and yet also a part of myself, has been purposefully corrupting the truth in order to prevent me from understanding it.

I can’t really explain exactly what I saw; It was all so vague and strange. I can however break down each though into my own words and attempt to write them in the way I think I understand. The ideas are as follows:

1. The only way to heaven is through Jesus. There is nothing you can do to get to heaven, but it is only Christ who can pave that way with His own Blood. We cannot do anything to get to heaven on our own. You do not enter heaven by your works, but by faith. “[Eph 2:8-9 KJV] 8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: [it is] the gift of God: 9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.”. This appears to say that you are saved by grace through faith and not of works. Which makes one assume that your works cannot get you to heaven, but it is the grace of God through faith and that there is nothing you can do to get to heaven….
2. Faith without works is dead. You cannot have faith without works.. This seems to contradict doesn’t it? Like my works don’t get me to heaven, but at the same time, I can’t get to heaven without works. So I must do something to be saved, I must repent and believe. I must walk rightly and Love the Lord with all my heart. I must Love my neighbor and do good. “[Jas 2:26 KJV] 26 For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.” and “[Act 8:22 KJV] 22 Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee.”…
3. So there is nothing I can do to get to heaven, but only by the Grace of God through Faith, but if I do not put in the work and do the good deeds, then Jesus will not save me. So then I must do works to go to heaven, but my works don’t matter…. “[Isa 64:6 KJV] 6 But we are all as an unclean [thing], and all our righteousnesses [are] as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.” “[Rom 3:23 KJV] 23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;”

So there it is. One thing leads to another and eventually ends up right back where it started. I can’t get to heaven by any deed of my own, but without good deeds, faith is dead, and without faith Jesus wont take you with Him to heaven. Then back to good deeds, back to faith, back to Jesus. But Jesus already died for my sins, I can’t atone for them myself, so what? I have to to do something to get to heaven? But there is nothing I can do, and all my righteousness is as filthy rags. I am a worm! “[Psa 22:6 KJV] 6 But I [am] a worm, and no man; a reproach of men, and despised of the people.”

Maybe if I tell enough people about Jesus, then He will see me? Maybe if I help enough homeless people, or give enough money to the poor? Maybe I give everything away and go live on the streets myself? Why did Jesus have to die for me and say “not of works, lest any man should boast” and “[Rom 11:6 KJV] 6 And if by grace, then [is it] no more of works: otherwise grace is no more grace. But if [it be] of works, then is it no more grace: otherwise work is no more work.”, but then turn around and say “[Mat 5:20 KJV] 20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed [the righteousness] of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven. [Mat 18:3 KJV] 3 And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. [Jhn 3:27 KJV] 27 John answered and said, A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven.”

But then you have these guys, who always go to Church, always give their tithes, always follow the rules and devote their whole lives to doing good works “[Mat 7:22 KJV] 22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?” and yet Jesus says to them “[Mat 7:23 KJV] 23 … I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.”

And let us not forget about “dead works”… “[Heb 9:14 KJV] 14 How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?” What is the difference between good works and dead works? How is it that these church goers were doing all the works that the Bible says we should do, and yet God says “I never knew you”. How can the same work done by one man be dead, but if done by another be alive? How can a man know if his works are good or evil, even though they be the same work?

I mean seriously… It just doesn’t make any sense. How is it possible that you can’t do anything to get to heaven, but at the same time you can’t get to heaven without doing something?